For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness – Ralph Waldo Emerson
A story is told of Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, and how he was angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a sharp letter.
Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded missive to the president. “What are you going to do with it?” Lincoln inquired. Surprised, Stanton replied, “Send it.” Lincoln shook his head, “You don’t want to send that letter,” he said, “Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.”
Do you know the causes of anger at your place of business? Research by Bensimon showed that most employees were annoyed at least 10 times daily. While the frequency and causes may vary, a survey from Monster reveals the Top Ten causes of anger at work: bad management, unjust treatment, lack of career opportunity, not being appreciated, excess workload, computer irritations, dishonest colleagues, incompetence or subordinates, interpersonal incivility, and asserting power. Any of these resonate with you?
Tipping points for anger vary from person to person, but the effects can be costly if you do not learn how to control it. A WebMD study reveals that personality types and the ability to control anger may have an effect of heart health and one’s risk for stroke. In addition the study said, “People considered the least agreeable and the most antagonistic had a 40% increased risk for arterial wall thickening. This is similar to the risk imparted by having metabolic syndrome, a known potent contributor to heart disease.”
While there may be a Top Ten list of things that anger us at work, none of them are worth the serious health risks caused by stress and anger. So what is a leader to do and how can you get a grip on anger? Here are four tips to help you keep it all in perspective.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. In his highly acclaimed book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlson sensibly points out, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon further examination aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them out of proportion. So many people spend so much of their life energy sweating the small stuff” that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.” The next time you are tempted to look at how bad things are try counting your blessings instead.
Learn to laugh. It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. And while not every issue that makes you angry is a laughing matter, perhaps those issues wouldn’t make you so angry if you simply learn to laugh.
In his book, Rules of Thumb, Alan M. Webber says, “We all want to work for people who take their work seriously-and themselves not so much. Work is hard. Life is short. Shouldn’t we all rejoice at the seriousness of our work, and laugh at the foolishness that surrounds us?” That’s great advice. If you simply learned to laugh at what surrounds you instead of being angry it would completely change your outlook. It will also be good for your heart.
Practice gratitude. Be it stress, fatigue, work or personal issues, or a variation of them all; anger can cause you to miss the good that surrounds you. Norman Vincent Peale says, “One of the great principles of life is that of thanksgiving. Not only is giving thanks a recognition of past benefits, it is the activator of blessings yet to come. If in your life there is a paucity of blessings, it just might be that your tendency to thankfulness has grown weak and inactive.” What are you thankful for?
Be proactive. While I have given a few suggestions, there are plenty more good resources available to help you if this is a major issue for you. Additionally; taking breaks, getting proper exercise and rest, among others, will lead to a more positive approach to confronting your anger.
Leadership is hard and stressful at times. And it is only natural that on occasion anger can get the best of us. But if left unbridled it can cause long term problems. Get a grip on anger and reclaim the joy and challenges that each day brings.
When it comes to finding a mate, men may not be looking for charm and intelligence, but a woman who looks dumb - or drunk - enough for a 1-night-stand, according to a new study.
In an article in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, University of Texas at Austin graduate student Cari Goetz and her team focused on the so-called sexual exploitability hypothesis - the idea that men are genetically programmed to look for 'easy' sex.
So, men apparently prefer to have flings with women they consider "airheads" -- but that's not who they want to marry.
In that study men rated 19 out of 22 traits such as stupidity, sleepiness or drunkenness as 'attractive.' In pictures, the dumb-looking and inert women were also perceived as being more attractive than their more lucid or intelligent-looking peers, but only when it came to short-term relationships.
When the men were asked to judge the same liquored-up, silly-looking women in the photos as potential girlfriends and wives, they had entirely lost their appeal on them.
And you guys think a woman is difficult to understand!
WHEW!!!!!
Have you seen the video of a man putting a baby in a washing machine? Itâs gone viral and is shocking.
On it you see a guy putting a little 1 year old in a washer, then closes the door and; DUMMY; it automatically locks and the washer turns on.
The man and the woman babysitting the child panic. The baby mama, 22 year old Sakia David says she saw it for the 1st time on the news and is angry! You think!!!
The babysitter never told the mother what happened at the Camden, New Jersey laundromat.
The pair frantically ran for help. A laundromat worker came to the rescue and turned the power off to the machine.
Thank GOD, the child was basically unharmed, taken to the hospital and returned to his mother but failed to mention the âfunâ they had with her baby!
How's the mother feel? âI'm pissed,â she says âI was mad cause you shouldn't put a kid in the washer, but at the same time, he was just playinâ around.â
Meanwhile back at the laundromat, the owner says she is thinking of putting up signs to protect herself from liability that read âdo not put kids in washers.â
DUH!!!!!!!
Sometimes I just wanna knock some sense into people, with a chairâ¦in the head!
Have a nice day!
More men are apparently leaving "manly" jobs to enter fields traditionally dominated by women. According to new data occupations that WERE more than 70% female made up about a 3rd of all job growth for men from 2000 to 2010. Thatâs double the rise in the 1990s. The New York Times reports men are becoming teachers and nurses, but also bank tellers, receptionists, and servers. According to the Times, the trend is most pronounced among young, white men with college degrees.
Are you seeing this more and more?
Going organic may make you healthier, but could it make you smug and judgmental as well? That's what a new study suggests, The Week magazine reports those who buy and eat organic food often look down on others and let them know about it. They cited Loyola University psychology professor and study author Kendall Eskine as attributing this to "moral licensing," which is when people who do something they see as good begin to feel self-righteous and also feel like they have permission to act less "good" later on. Have you found in your own life that people who eat very healthy or organic food can tend to be smug or judgmental about others?
Encourage v: to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence- Random House Dictionary
A story is told about the Duke of Wellington, the British military leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. He was not an easy man to serve under. He was brilliant, demanding, and not one to shower subordinates with compliments.
Yet even Wellington realized that his methods left something to be desired. In his old age a young lady asked him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment, and then replied, “I’d give more praise,” he said.
While it was too late for Wellington to go back and do things differently, the approach you take in your leadership style can make an immediate impact if you implement this one small yet powerful leadership characteristic; encouragement.
If you think encouragement is not that significant or necessary; think again. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the number one reason people leave their job is because they do not feel appreciated. The Gallup organization reports that one poll found that 65% of Americans reported receiving no recognition for good work in the past year. How tragic. Almost seven out of ten people last year were not recognized, acknowledged or told how much they were valued or appreciated.
In a recent survey of nearly 2,000 people, Monster.com asked this question of their readers: Would you actively encourage children (your own or others) to enter the career you’re currently in? 47% said never, 22% said maybe, 10% said probably, and 21% said absolutely. What would you say? While there is no direct correlation between the Gallup poll and the Monster.com survey, the results are striking. While many variables contribute to the feelings, morale, and satisfaction each person has as it relates to their work, encouragement is one small investment that can pay big dividends. Here is three ways it can help.
Encouragement builds relationships. When you take time to notice what others around you are doing and the way in which they contribute it can make a world of difference. But encouragement takes it a step further because it is grounded in reality.
An encourager sees the struggle and appreciates the sweat equity involved in making your organization a success. Robert Martin said, “Taking an interest in what others are thinking and doing is often a more powerful form of encouragement than praise.” When was the last time you went out of your way to encourage your team? The one minute encourager understands that the best retention policy you have is in the form of encouraging words.
Encouragement builds morale. Think back to the survey; 65% of the respondents reported receiving no recognition for good work in the past year. To be sure, the state of morale within your organization can be subjective and is not always what you think. But without a strong leader that knows how to encourage, think of where your organization would be without it.
Encouragement can take on many forms: a hand-written note of thanks to an employee for a job well done, a gift-certificate for dinner, a day off with pay; the possibilities are endless. When encouragement becomes a natural part of your leadership style the residuals of strong morale will be evident. The one minute encourager understands that strong morale is built when the team is the focal point of appreciation.
Encouragement builds loyalty. For the leader who understands the power of encouragement this is the reward. John Maxwell was right when he said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” The difference between superficial praise and encouragement is found in the results. Superficial praise doesn’t mean much and is short-term; both in meaning and outcome. But genuine encouragement is long-lasting, and builds loyalty.
As you develop as an encouraging leader it will change the atmosphere in your organization. Not only will your team begin to believe they are appreciated, but they will begin to act like it. Now the way in which they are being encouraged is the way in which they handle their relationships. The one minute encourager understands that one of the single greatest resources at his or her disposal is not only cost-efficient but also time-efficient. Who have you encouraged today?
A 33-year-old Tennessee man who's fathered 30 children with 11 different women, ranging from toddler age up to 14 years old, is asking the courts for relief from his child support payments. The state already takes half of Desmond Hatchett's paychecks and divides it up among the various mothers, but since he only makes minimum wage, that doesn't amount to much, and some of the women get as little as $1.49 a month. SHUT UP!
Hatchett, who twice had 4 children in the same year, said in 2009 when he was in court to answer charges that many of the mothers weren't receiving child support that he wasn't going to have any more kids. But since that time, when he had 21 children, he's had 9 more.
Are you kiddinâ me? Heck NO, he should NOT get a break from the courts on his child support payments! And I know that what heâs doing isn't illegal, but heâs gotta be stopped from having more children! Right or wrong! What a scumbag!
I love red lipstickâ¦the redder the better to me! Besides that it makes your teeth look even whiter! But, thereâs this new study out today showing that men prefer women in red lipstick. Researchers in Vannes, France (where tipping is not customary) asked waitresses serving 447 customers to wear either red, brown or pink lipstick. Male customers were more likely to tip waitresses wearing red, and when they did, they tipped more. Red was the only color that had this effect, and lipstick of any color, or none at all, had no effect on how female customers tipped. (AskMen.com)
We've heard it all, the attacks on anyone daring to question the "legend" of Barack Obama, native born Hawaiian.
So why did his first literary agent list his birthplace as Kenya? Just a misunderstanding? Confusion over his Father's birthplace?
They got the information from somewhere, presumably from the author himself. At the very least wouldn't they have run this by their client before publication?
"Hey, you guys got it wrong, I was born in Honolulu".
Hmm..here's the story from the Brietbart "Vetting" project. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/17/The-Vetting-Barack-Obama-Literary-Agent-1991-Born-in-Kenya-Raised-Indonesia-Hawaii
Hmm, when even a CBS News/NY Times Poll shows Obama's chances for a 2nd term are diminishing, you know there's trouble in the worker's paradise.
When you couple this with blowback from the black community over his "evolution" on gay marriage he's got real trouble. The location of the Democrat Convention in Charlotte later this year is a further embarassment with the Tar Heel state's passage of the ban on gay marriage.
Here's the story on the latest polling data.
This May Be The Most Disastrous-Looking Poll For Obama Yet
The new CBS/New York Times poll out last evening is, on the surface, the biggest disaster for the Barack Obama campaign at this point in the 2012 election.
Down overall? Check. Voters frustrated with the economy and how things are going? Check. Gay marriage endorsement backfire? Check.
But this might be the worst underlier of all: Obama is even losing among women.
Now, before we delve deeper, we should point out the funky methodology that has some — ranging on the spectrum from the Obama campaign to the National Journal — questioning how the results hold up.
This is a "panel-back" survey — the same voters were polled this time as were polled in mid-April. Only 562 of the original 856 registered voters re-responded to the poll this time around.
Still, the poll oversamples Democrats — among registered voters, the sample pool is composed of 36 percent Democrats, 34 percent Independents and 30 percent Republicans. Romney's overall lead stands at 46 percent to 43 percent. Last month, the two candidates were deadlocked. There are a few underliers that spell disaster for Barack Obama.
First is the women vote. What the heck happened here? Last month, Obama led among women by 6 percentage points. In this poll, he's trailing Romney by 2 points in the women's vote. It's an even bigger shift when you consider other surveys, like last month's CNN poll that found Obama destroying Romney among women by 16 points.
CBS/NYT poll
Independents also continue to flock to Mitt Romney. He's up in that category by 7 points, though it's worth noting that Obama captures the self-described "moderate" vote by 11 points.
And this is the third poll that shows the President's gay marriage endorsement is causing some backlash with voters. This time, voters go beyond just saying they are less likely to vote for him — 22 percent are less likely, vs. 14 percent more likely.
But the kicker: Most voters believe that Obama's endorsement came about for political reasons. This doesn't make a whole lot of sense and lines up in direct contrast with the fact that more people are now less likely to vote for him. Still, even Democrats are suspicious.
